Before The Fall
by KouenTaisa
Summary: Cause you never think the last time is the last time. You think they'll be more. You think you have forever, but you don't.


**Title:** Before The Fall  
**Author:** KouenTaisa [on ] Chedders  
**Rating:** K+  
**Fandom:** NCIS  
**Pairing:** Gibbs/Abby  
**Status:** Finished  
**Category:** Hurt/Comfort/Angst  
**Spoilers: **Hiatus Pt. 2  
**Summary:** Cause you never think the last time is the last time. You think they'll be more. You think you have forever, but you don't. - Meredith Grey  
**A/N: **I don't really know where this came from. I haven't abandoned my other stories, I promise. I just really wanted to write some heavy angst, and I thought this would turn out to be something Giva, but in the end, I came up with good ole Gabby. This is slightly Grey's Anatomy based, so yeah... that's what got me started.:D

She couldn't remember their last kiss.

Standing in the middle of her lab, working at her computer, the thought assaulted her in the silence of her haven and took her breath away. Try as she might, she couldn't recall the last time he'd pressed his lips against hers… or even the last time she had felt his warm lips against her cheek for a job well done. All she could remember was the ghost of his lips against her cheek and the weight of his finger against her lips before he disappeared. The sudden breathlessness was followed by an ache in her chest that was just as much physical as emotional. Gripping the computer mouse tightly, she fought to control herself, not wanting to seem weak to anyone who might happen to walk in on her.

The last two months had been more stressful than the entirety of her life, and that was saying something. She spent most of her nights on the futon in her lab, staring at the ceiling and wishing that she could sleep without dreaming about him. She wasn't always alone, and sometimes Tony would come down and stare at the ceiling with her in silence that gave them both a small measure of comfort. Sometimes she fell asleep at her desk and other times she didn't sleep at all, too haunted by that last image of his face before he walked away from her. From them.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to focus what she had been doing before, but she couldn't make it happen. She didn't have enough caffeine in her system and all she could think about was him. It was really starting to mess with her head in ways that Mikel Mawher never could have. She had been afraid then, but she was starting to learn that heart break was a lot worse. Sighing, she moved away from the main computer, heading into the inner part of her sanctum for a small break.

Spinning around in her desk chair a few times did nothing to brighten her mood, and she had a feeling that even Bert wouldn't be able to help her now. Something caught her attention on the third spin and she caught herself, staring down at her cell phone. A few days after he left she had tracked down a number for him, but by then she was so angry and hurt that calling hadn't been an option. She'd kept it to herself and promised never to call, but suddenly the urge to hear his voice and know that he was a live and doing well out weighed everything else. She had the number dialed before she consciously realized what she was doing, and it took all of her willpower not to give in and hang up.

"Hola, you have reached Camille. May I ask who is calling?"

The decidedly female voice almost caused her to hang up before she remembered that this number wasn't for his phone directly. He hadn't had his cell on since he left. Taking a deep breath, she knew that it was now or never. Sink or swim.

"Miss Camille, you don't know me… but I was hoping that I could talk to Gibbs. It's real important."

There was a pause and she heard muted voices over the phone, wondering if it would really be this easy to talk to him. She was in luck, because the next voice she heard was definitely not that of a female.

"Gibbs." the familiarly gruff voice brought instant tears to her eyes and she did her best to force them away. Taking a moment to compose herself, she took a deep breath before finally saying the phrase that had been in her mind since that morning.

"I can't… I can't remember our last kiss- our last real kiss. All I could think about today was how I couldn't remember, which is pathetic, but the last time we were together and happy… I can't remember that either.

"Abby."

The silence that settled after he said her name wasn't awkward, but it felt heavy somehow and she was on the verge of hanging up and ignoring the entire conversation. She was just about to shut her phone when she heard his voice and instead of hanging up, Abby paused, listening to what he had to say.

"It was a Wednesday. You were wearing those black and grey plaid pants and a black button up collared shirt with a black undershirt. Your hair was in pigtails, but braided, and you had a collar around your neck. You smelled like some sort of flower underneath the gun powder, because you'd taken a shower that morning."

There was a pause and Abby found that she really couldn't say anything. All she could do was listen, because between his voice and the memory, she was rendered speechless.

"The team was about to head out for the case, and you said you'd see me later. You leaned in, put your hand on my chest, and you kissed me. Quick. The moment it was over you turned back to your computer and I left."

Closing her eyes, she took another deep breath, the memory flooding her senses. He had smelled like coffee and sawdust, as always, but there was a hit of gun powder under it all from where she had spent the elevator ride pressed to his side with a smile on her face. The kiss had been fleeting, quick. Almost an after thought, because she had always assumed there would be more time for kisses.

"… lavender." the single word was out before she realized it, her voice wavering slightly. Exhaling, Abby shifted in her chair, turning to stare at the blank computer screen in front of her. "It was the body wash Ziva gave me," she added after a moment, not wanting the conversation to end, but not really wanting to stay in the silence either.

"Lavender… huh," his soft confirmation eased something within her and she relaxed visibly. This is what she had been missing for two months. She had been missing the kisses and the sex, but what she missed the most was their easy conversations and the companionship that he always offered. The conversation was at an end. It was still too early to talk about all the mistakes and all the what ifs, but she needed him to know something.

"Abs-"

Closing her eyes, Abby said the only thing she could before hanging up the phone.

"No matter how long it takes, Gibbs… when you finally decide to look back… I'll still be here."


End file.
